I have been in countless relationship/singleness conversations recently and boy oh boy they have become extra interesting now, more than ever. I am one of those girls who has all the friends with boyfriends and well…..one by one they are actually getting engaged. Yay! Now let me make this point clear, I am absolutely elated for all of them because a) they are my friends, they’re happy and I love them and I trust their boyfriends/fiancés to treat my friends well or else ain’t nobody gettin’ married lol and b) engagements and marraiges mean engagement parties, bridal showers, wedding ceremonies and anniversaries….I don’t know what comes to your mind when you think of those things but I think food, food and food….free of charge. So I really have nothing to complain about in relation to that. However, the statements and remarks that I keep getting continuously sway from hilarious to straight up annoying everyday as people try figure out why I’m the ‘single one’. I am always told that I’m single because my standards are too high or because I’m too independent lol which is laughable or because I am too ‘churchy.’ Or maybe I want to be?
I remember one day when I was chatting with my neighbour online. He was telling me that he was interested in me and so on but I am not interested in him and for many reasons but his reaction really makes me ask a question. Is it that some men think single ladies will jump at any offer they are given? Well maybe that works somewhere but not here, sadly. The law of attraction and other factors such as preferences and similarities still exist and play a big role in whether or not someone would want to be with a person….generally speaking. All I told this young man was that I did not like him in that way and trust me, I said it in the kindest way possible because of course I had to maintain the relationship we had as neighbours (because what if I ran out of sugar sometime?). I laughed hysterically when he gave me his philosophy of why I did not like him…or rather, why I couldn’t admit that I liked him due to my over independence and my unrealistic devotion to my degree. Yes I laughed and he probably heard me. You all should have seen it! Funny stuff man..funny stuff!!
In all honesty, I am not ready for a relationship right now. No, I’m not saying that because I have no options. I have a lot of options and good ones at that. I’m not saying this to seem like I am the most wanted or the ‘playing hard to get’ type. I am currently in a stage of my life where I know I cannot handle the responsibility of a relationship…yes intimate relationships carry responsibility, they are not solely about feeling good and smiles and kisses and when the puppy love stage goes away you leave everything and split up…no! Relationships are hard work and that is something that I am preparing for currently….*puts up ‘Under Construction’ sign*. I will admit though that I am not ‘easy’ because I refuse to be..I had those days and I know my worth now. I am not one to confuse being wanted and desired with being valued and loved.
This is something I, being single, have to face regularly. Being single is only as hard as you make it, smile and live peoples ^_^
If there has been any lesson I’ve learnt this year, it would surely be that life is short and it is not ours. It can go (and come) when ever it decides to and this is something that we really really need to come to terms with.
We live in an age where we say “Let’s party all night because we’re not sure if we’ll make it to tomorrow” and by no means am I being rude but is that really how you want to spend the last moments of your life? If I were to sit down just 10 people and ask them how they’d want to spend their last moments, perhaps only one or two will boast of their desire to drink and party through the night -_- because that does not necessarily correlate with happiness. We know that happiness and the things we appreciate are truly NOT found in houses, clubs, cars or Luis Vuitton….whatever it may be. Our lives mean more than that alone. Life is short, live it like you mean it. Even if it is difficult right now, remember that troubles are temporary and they have purpose…they all do. Life is not for you to waste; take the time to do something, change something, help someone….help yourself, just do something worth your life.
The only way that I know that we can find those “somethings” that we must do to make life worth it, is through finding and asking the One who created it all. Now….I am gonna cut to the chase here and I won’t be prettying up anything, this is what I know to be true. Go to Jesus! He is the author of life and the only one that can give you a clear look at what you should and perhaps should not be doing in life…the life that He gave to us. Seek Him and you will find Him…..God is not going to hide from us. So talk to Him The End. (of that part)
A lot of people die every year and some day, you and I will be one of them. Be careful with your life, will you?
*hug* much love to you guys. I pray you all keep safe.
My voice is a drop in the ocean
Perhaps too little to be heard by my nation
And I doubt
That even if I SHOUT
I would be heard.
But my heart has been stirred,
My stomach vigorously churned
At the distasteful merits that this land has earned
My hands are tied
My eyes struggle to see the upside
Of our current position
For it is too wide for my meager cognition
Is it that we harbor a disposition
Do we not understand that life is sacred?
But my voice is a drop in the deep blue sea
It doesn’t matter if I SCREAM a ‘One Love’ melody
It remains pull teeth for us to live in harmony
Blatantly misusing the word ‘unity’
Forgetting that we are still at the mercy
Of The Almighty
And though I am like dew within immense forestry
I will be the best droplet I can be
Scream and Shout
Till this drop of water dries out
Or until society joins my causation
Til I’m too big to be ignored by my nation